my love can give no place,bide no denay..

2004-05-21T19:33:00.000-07:00

*all of my life
where hv you been
i wonder if i'd ever see you again*

2004-05-21T03:35:00.000-07:00

chi Os is like on 31 may..yeah.. i really really tryin to do well so tt i wont be lettin my chi teacher down..she has been really concerned n pretty hilarious too..she even had faith in me..on one of the tests i got 64, she wrote under the teachers comments section tt shes sure tt i can get an a1 if i continue workin hard. my chi had always sucked..no one had eva believed in me like her..n mrs lee too..i dun wish to see st.margs marks all fallin after her death..she'll be damn sad in heaven.. haha..n my parents..our relationship is much beta..ther are like more reasonable.tho at times my dad hes like accusin me of goin out wif bad company when i simply asked to go out with my frds..n its like sch frds..like duh*. yeah..their whole lives is like dedicated wholly in brinin me up..they even bought a new car to fetch me everyday..jokingly, they call me an empress..n i called them eunch..haha..jus for fun la..but really im like givin out strict orders to them..n i always expect them to fufill it regardless of anythin.. oh well..tts bad i noe.. becomin so spoilt.. yeah..n i wana do well for god's glory too..n the sch's glory of cuz.. god has been really good to me n everyone.. he rawks..i love god! i love the sch! been wearin tis uni since pri one..its almost as if ive been born into it....love it! in fact, cos my yr had too many babies born..my mom posted everywhere in many schs..couldnt get into so many schs..well...but smps was really nice..they opened a new class..the seventh class.. n i was accepted in.. if i hadnt i guess i'd hv been in some junk neighbourhood sch now..im so blessed..

2004-05-11T03:05:00.000-07:00

im sry if i cant blog some things.its not tt i nv felt anythin for u..its juz i stole u n im nt sure if there are some ple who might get offended. forgive me.please.

2004-05-11T01:28:00.000-07:00

one in a million once in a lifetime..the song played on.i was sec one then. tis was my second time on stage. it was a racial harmony day modellin contest thing.i guess i must hv been rather enthu then.i wouldnt hv agreed to join such things.not now. SHE shook my hand as i received the third prize...i couldnt get down to writing anythin.till now.bt her.since her departure.it just came so sudden.a shock. somethin i nv wuld expect. on the day before her death, i was actually made to write her a reflection letter for leavin sch before the usual dismissal time on tt tue. once again, i knew i was in for alota trouble since i had been called into her office a few times [to get scoldin..like duh].last yr, i was reprimanded for havin an attitude problem. yet another time, my dad complained i was in alota dance events which he felt was too stressful for me. [great.thx to him i was called in again.]but tis time i wasnt scolded n she invited me to sit. n so i did. i leaned back n slouched into the chair with my arms on the arms on the chair like a somewhat big boss [self-delusion.the chair was really cushiony n comfy i admit].haha. well yeah n she was like"look at the way ur sitting".argh. oh well. n the worst n most recent one. i was scolded for bad grades. she called me out in fnt of everybody. well she knew bt me runnin away frm home. n quite a few times she called for me but i was either not in favour of seein her or simply angry tt she made me wait outside her office for so long while she entertained other teachers. n so i left.without tellin her. the whole day i waited. like who the hell she thk she is. orderin me around. whorx big deal man-principal! [smug] two days later was the day of reckoning. she called me out amongst four classes. well she threw away my ear ring. it was like only a flower shape n silver. ive seen many more st.margs gals wearin more outrageous earrings then tt. i almost cried. tt earring held sentimental value. it was frm hawaii. yea.n she was l;ike damn bad. she just said "say goodbye to it" n simply slide it into the bin. i dint wanna cry. i hate to look weak. later well no details here but she called me a bimbo for smilin at ple. [wth!] i was only bein polite. crap. n she kept interrogatin me. made me so irritated. well she did say im above average lookin, but im deceitful. yea i did lie to her bt the earring.[tryin to gv excuses to save it] argh. n she asked why i ran away frm home. i didnt like tellin anyone or even bringin it up so i just said cos my parents said somethin hurtful to me. n she called me spoilt. [whatever..] well frm previous times i know shes the only child n she was married in my church. yea. she tld me somethin really private. it was the most hurtful remark her mom eva used on her. [secret. sry.] k. one wk later,[all tis happened in term 2 of tis yr] she sent the counsellor to talk with me. underneath her fierce fnt, she was actually truly concerned. i thought the counsellor was crap tho. the fact that sucha "guai" lookin gal like me was made to sound so notorious, i dun like it. tt counsellor. she was like a spy. askin me so so much. and even takin notes. gonna tell my principal some parts [she claimed].. it all happened nt long ago... i seriously wish i dint noe her personally. so it wouldnt hv hit me tt hard. i was cryin like shit. i was controllin like crazy.but on tt day, when we got the news, when ms noraini walked into class n said it. i was tryin badly to hold it back. but i ended up sniffin it up so badly tt i was chokin myself..i rmbed tt feelin of nt bein able to breadthe.. tears were streamin down my face till i was sent away n isolated in the it rm wif other cryin gals. but it was different for me. i seriously wondered why they were cryin n why they had so much to cry abt if they dint even share any past with her. i couldnt slp tt nyte. my bed was by the window. i found myself lookin up into the skies. i know mrs lee is up there. she has to be! i miss her. even now i feel my eyes wellin up wif tears at the thought of her. she had so many plans to improve the sch. why now? why. we see her every morn. we will no longer do so. durin assembly, she'll encourage n inspire us. it'll nv happen.not anymore. only on sat, we attended her wake. pastor benny den said shes now in heaven n heaven is a much more beautiful place den on earth. n her place is prepared by god there. it comforted me deeply. i knew it was true. now, she left us a good testimony. an upright n devoted lady. i nv thought my meetin with her would be my last. i nv thought i'll nv see her up on the podium again. but i believe its god's will. n im prepared to continue her faith, her dream, her testimony. and i know i will see her again. will you?

2004-05-04T00:50:00.000-07:00

well well.. in my compo exam yesterdae.. i wrote bout my real life personal account of my run away frm home..haha.. it was somethin i really dint like talkin or even bringin up.. oh well but i guess its true..time heals things.. like for peihong n i..it was like 10 mths since.. but i guess we're juz mutual frds now..theres more than meets the eye tho... things arent as simple as it seems......once again..time really does miracles... like stephanie n i..we used to dislike each other..but like now..i actually find her damn fun..n florence too.. hmm.. ple tt i thought was previously "untouchable" like shuann,weiying,suetyi werent as wad i thot..they are truly damn nice stuff.... oh yea..just rmbed xiaofen.. we arent tt close now....n stasia too..oh n christopher..well i really hope we can be frds..but his like damn i dunno... but yet again it boils down to time....

2004-05-03T02:06:00.000-07:00

anyone..sign moi guestbk if yr free..its pretty pathetic..hehehe..oh..n my photos..check it out ya..*hugz*

2004-04-30T01:26:00.000-07:00

oh well.. was feelin damn tired n drained tt sorta thing today..so i went home..yeah i reached hm at 11..n i slept till now..its like 4 now..haha.. shiok manx!! haha.. feel so good now.. hai hai... oh well. im a really temperamental gal.. n emotional.. how i wish i could b more stable..maybe like heon.. she's juz so steady sia.. like in her own dream world..with elijah wood.. or like shu ann.. she n her tennis players..haha... while im like stuck in reality.. i wanna escape..or leave.. once again... i wish i had those man in black the movie the mind blanker thing.. one click.. n i'd forget everythin i eva knew..... how i wish so........

2004-04-27T01:52:00.000-07:00

great..my tag board screwed up..so i couldnt read anythin on it..ah...haha.. im so much happier today.. ive got such great frds wif great advice...i feel so much more comforted..haha!!.. yay!!..kim, athena, shu ann...they were like real good..love dem!! i guess they are ryte..shall listen to them! hell with "guy C"!!hahah!! we 4 are like dunno wad called.. ra-ra sisters.. so farni.. juz..they really cheered me up alot..really wana thank god for them!!

2004-04-25T23:20:00.000-07:00

well well.. im like home now..haha..pon sch today..feelin a lil low..like upset tat kinda thing..always like tat..well on sat a told eugene to get off me..n go away..cos i was kinda jealous tt he kept askin bout heon..its so irritatin..i guess cos in the neoprint he saw of heon n i..well yeah..she's chio..no doubt bout tt..but the fact tt his mine n in msg he will ask 'is heon wif u'..on the phone he said..'you and heon look like a pair' as in best frds la..eveyrything is heon tis heon tt..im soooo mad..n he said he dint wana msg heon..but guess wat..he did..n i was used as an exxcuse..or kinda like to start a convesation..he asked her bt me..oh like yeah yeah ryte..as if his really tt concerned..im wrong again..his another stupid lying despo...moreover his always interested in sex-related talk..askin me abt hair on the ahem area...like wad the hack.. he has nothin betta to thk of..k..i guess its normal..wif whatever hormone raggin crap..i dun mind...but the least i expect frm him is for him to be loyal in return...there are like other guys hu like me too..but the fact tt im fond of him only..n totally loyal to him...n i realised wads he like...i feel so cheated..i wonder why i had even entertained his nonsense..his dreams of he n i bein stead..all his fuckin crap of holdin hands n cuddlin..im so goddamn disgusted now...i wished i nv did fall into all these...i was such self-delusion....n it hurt like crazy now..well i told him to get lost..n cos i dun like him anymore..but deep down inside me i noe i still love him..im dyin to receive a msg frm him..but it wasnt me he msged..its heon..i wanna cry... i noe though its nothin to do wif heon..she's like totally innocent..its just me..... im so prone to sweet talk..how do i help myself!! hai..life is so crapped...someone save me!!!

2004-04-24T00:22:00.000-07:00

yay!! i finally got a guestbk after multiple persuation frm yun..haha!! yay!!

2004-04-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

im so happy n proud of myself i managed to control myself frm bringin my phone for one day..yesterdae..haha.. eugene well.. i dun care... we arent in reality.. possible.. n i dun wish to screw up my Os bcos of him.. n when i left chris.. he is.. exactly the kind of distraction i was tryin to avoid..hmmm tis sounds familiar..did i hear tis phrase in some movie or somethin... oh well..but its true..its sad huh...my juz so angry with him..he isnt a man of actions but one of words.. i mean its so easy to alwaya say i love u.. but it doesnt mean anythin anymore..everytime..i dunno..when he n i do communiate.. i feel myself on a roller-coaster.. one day i can feel so happy..over the moon.. another..i juz feel so pissed n dumped.. i hate all tis..im not eva eva.. i swear..to reply any guy anymore..not till after Os...now i noe why there are lesbians.....cos guys are so disgusting...

2004-04-22T01:38:00.000-07:00

cheryl..hai..gonna get expelled..n i noe her lyk since pri 4..damn sad..cos of tat stupid daryl..she pon alota lessons.. oh well..n alota my classmates got into trouble today too..all got sent home cos they dint stay back for peer tutorin.. yeah..n flo esp..she's been really nice to me..teachin me work i dun noe..quite touched.. well well.. there's tis psycho guy frm my gp tution.. i quit already..his name is johnanthan pang..so crap manx..his like constantly askin me out..to dunno wad movie.. den to study.. and i replied he could jolly well ask his sch teacher..like wads his prob..he can study beta wif gals ah..retarded.... havent been updatin tis..cos if always im free..i'd be like talkin to eugene.. i aint really in love wif him actually..juz guess im in love more with the idea of bein in love..im tat crappy..cant believe it....im like damn goddamn sure i'd dump him one day...its juz a matter of time...when i dun feel like it anymore...oh well..k im shit.. well everythings fairly well..oh the stupid counsellor made me see her...argh...so irritatin..kept diggin information outta me..haha.. oh ya!! today..theres tis freakin horny joke..k.. kim said she went coro before sch ended la...shes nt takin chi...n she came back..i was quite puzzled like why..n i asked..so well she said she went to use the atm..she has a credit card la..n i was lyk oh..hai..my mom dun allow me to hv a credit card cos wait ple..like those big guys
might kidnap me..etc etc..haha.. n kim replied.. oh den kick them on their fragile part or pull it..haha.. n suetyi joined in.."wat u all talkin about".. n i replied so simply " penis"..crap man im so hprny..polluted by eugene..oh yeah well.. i was sayin too tat if i eva hv to pull such stuff i'd.....(t.b.c)..be washin my hands my whole life..haha!!..n nx suet asked..how would u noe where to pull its like one whole mess..(ah..eww..sick!!) n kim replied pull juz pull la anythin..haha!! crap.. sick manx..damn funny.. n i held out a ruler..its abt tis length (15cm)..u can try practisin on it..haha!! n well i also joked tat kim muz hv been dyin to take advanage of the kidnapper..heh heh..

2004-04-16T01:21:00.000-07:00

sry ple i screwed up my tag board...lazy to get another one...*)

2004-04-16T01:19:00.000-07:00

petrina was
a Famous Lawyer
in a past life.

Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

2004-04-13T04:18:00.000-07:00

miss my sci tution ple..hai.. had heaps of fun dere.. haha.. i love him alot..*im so in love with you boy*..love love love gene...my boy.. mwahx..

2004-04-03T01:56:00.000-08:00

had my cross country yesterday..somethin really touchin happened..juz rmbed on mon durin pe, while we were made to practice runnin for 2.4, i was feelin a lil down n bad..couldnt run well..yeah so i was walkin n everyone else ran past me..only suet yi held my hand n pulled me along..encouragin me to run..well yeah was pretty touched..oh well..n yesterdae guess wad..i was runnin wif sarah yan..n i saw suet yi..i could hv overtook her..but well i dint..tis time i held her hand n pulled her along wif me like e previous time when she did it to me..haha..n cos sarah had stamina n i dint..[i totally suck at running]..so i told her to go ahead dun wait for me..yeah she did..i dunno..i cant stand ple hu are so hypocrital..when u ask them if they are gonna run,they'll sae no no..cos if they say they are gonna run,they'll sound prtty kiasu..so wel..it juz suckx..n lata they start running..speeding off ahead of u..even very well knowing they arent gonna win anythin afterall..i mean its so crazy..they'll rather betray a frd..

2004-03-26T15:24:00.000-08:00

im so fuckin shocked..tat daryl who made charlene pregnant is now my classmate's bf..oh man..n if im not wrong..he is e one who got into a staring incident wif eugene too at cine till e police came down..ah wat shit.. n when daryl broke up wif charlene..chris n his frds were also there comfortin charlene..his sucha bloody monster tat daryl..now his out to spoil cheryl's life too..n his treatin charlene so coldly..oh ya..e baby is a boy..haha..n i heard too tat daryl's still protective over e child..if like anyone insults his child..he'll come after them..yeah..crap..

2004-03-25T23:56:00.000-08:00

Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema.
"I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't
a poem."
You are a type A personality. You like bright
things, you don't call in sick to work, and you
have devastating opinions about art.

Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
haha..funny crap..

2004-03-25T23:43:00.000-08:00

boys suck. smack them.

2004-03-24T00:44:00.000-08:00

yesterday..got in trouble wif principal..hate her manx..she threw away my pretty ear ring for no right no reason.. lyk wad shit is tat..cant believe it..i aint even in a communist community whereby e leaders own everythin of u..even yr property n kids all..but its like spore here..damn.. such an invasion of my personal rights.. crap.. she'll get it.. its juz a matter of time now..yeah im in her sch..but stil she has NO RIGHT to touch MY thing..its mine mine n mine..

2004-03-24T00:14:00.000-08:00

not long ago..chris was tellin me how he put his trust n faith all tat into our relationship..n i left him just like tat.. well.. i dunno.. im juz not interested in him...yeah tats sad..but i tried..i couldnt force it.. oh well.. haha..oh heon said she sold kaya bread durin e sec 1 st.margs fun fair..well guess wat.her twin chris..so alike..he sold kaya bread for e fmss funfair too.hah..

2004-03-13T00:26:00.000-08:00

oh juz got hard lense in my eye today..feels so poky on im eye..can hardly open..oh well..all in e name of beauty..haha..well yesterday..first time i went out with heon..my new best frd..hehe..we watched e butterfly effect..e plot is terrific except for some gory scenes..its real good still..love it..a totally thrillin show..yet kinda touchin too in e ending.. its bout tis guy..actor ashton kutcher..well he has got a genetic disease inherited from his dad..e docs n psychistrists say it doesnt even exists as it only got to do wif his imagination..hmmm...well..it was when he was in sch..n e teacher told them to draw their ambition..n he suffered a sudden blackout..so guess wat he drew..a man holding a knife n two dead bodies bleedin on e floor.. so he'll hv frequent blackouts..tat means he'll b lyk suddenly nt noe wad his doin..n when in such blakouts..he'll do strnge things..bd harmful things sometimes..well..once he n his gp of frds..calyn(his gf) n calyn's bro..if i dint rmb wrongly..n his name is allen i thk..well yeah they placed an explosive in someone's letterbox..n of cos it blew..he doesnt rmb anythin.. yeah..so bcos of his tis disease..e psychistrists suggested to his mom to get him to write journals..well dey show when he grows up...by readin e journals..he'll get to relive e different futures..lyk one was calyn became a prostitude cos of e trauma of her bro's death...yeah..another..he relived tat letterbox moment tat killed a mother n a child...but tis time he took e blast..but when he grew up..cos he dint hv arms n legs..e calyn tat he loved couldnt possibly love him or marry him back.. so well he read another n another of his journals..reliving e different futures..n everytime he read e journal it'll disappear.. so finanlly there werent any left..but he dint wanna get stuck in tat future..well dey showed he was lyk in e mental hospital then..in desperation,he demanded tat his mom brin him any videos of his childhood..yeah..so when he got hold of it..he made a dash to some room where he could play e video..n of cos e guards were lookin for him bangin on his door...but he finanlly managed to relive tat one..it was when he first got to noe calyn..n cos in another of e futures he had calyn his beloved had died,..so tis time to save her..he decided to totally nt noe her at all.. n it showed when they were young..at some gathering he was made to talk to calyn.. n well he said to her..i hate u i dub ever wanna see u again...haha.. in tat future.calyn n he nv knew each other..but calyn became so successful..a business woman in e city those..tats e touchin part..realy touchin..its like he one thru so much..gave up eva knowin such a nice gal lyk her juz for her sake..jus to see her so successful..yeah..their paths crossed..he knew it was her..but she dint noe..she kinda roughly recognised so she turned back to look at him for only a short while but had in e end continued walkin along...hai.. n he stood there watchin her walk off..so sad... oh well..after which heon n i went to take neoprints..haha...so malu manx..we couldnt put e coin into e machine..it kept comin back out..so i had to choie but to ask some jap gals linin outside behind us for help...wahahaha...but well.. it really was an enjoyable day for me...oh yeah.. n before e movie started..heon n i went around explorin e purfume n all t e lido seiyu there..haha..i love eperfume frm lancome..called attraction most.. its so full so fresh flowers smell... so rejuvenating..gonna save up..haha...was thinkin it’ll b pretty nice to work behind such make up counters nx time..e ladies r so sophisticatedly groomed..so pretty..n get to enjoy e nice smell of e atmosphere wif perfume dust flootin around…wow..

2004-02-27T15:39:00.000-08:00

haha..juz witnessed e last yr sec 4s..wow..im sooo sooo proud of st.margs they did really well tis yr.. its lyk 80% qualified for jc.. now everyone dere is still screamin lyk nuts still.. tis gal jumped for joy lyk siao..haha..seriously she was practically off her feet..well she got 12.. oh joanna..my church frd..my lyk childhood frd too..she got 14..n she's really happy..i feel so happy for her too..in fact when i first saw her in sec 1, she came n gv me a big hug.. i felt so touched..cos it was lyk a totally new environment..n i was feelin so lost.. oh wel.. n juz now..i saw her in e canteen..we hugged again..i feel so happy for those who did well..really..i feel lyk cryin..coz i kinda feel for them..but its a mixed feeling too..i saw my gym gals..my seniors, sittin in a grp on e floor weepin.. my heart goes out to them.. they didnt do well.. n..hai... i cant really explain it.. its lyk they are some who has been thru alot..quite similiar to me..we compete n stuff..perform..blah.. i feel their pain too now..their faces..are so sad..so full of regret..if only i could help..well i dun exactly like them alot la..but i cant stand it when they look like tat..their marks are like 16, 21..dunno e rest.. anyway.. i've got back wif chris some time ago..but i doubt it'll last long..i seriously hope he wont read it..i dunno..yeah its true im fickle minded..i fall in love so easily..i fall outta it so easily too..not for all la..depends on how much i'd already noe tat person..or how long..those kinda thing..lyk jon..his stuck in my head for so long already..i stil roughly rmb tat queensway guy too.. n tat fairfield..haha..hai..eugene isnt those gorgeous guys well..his cute larx..esp his voice..i fell in love with his voice ..well i noe chris did say his ugly..uglier den himself..well..its a mattter of taste i suppose...... oh manx they are still screaming until now....haha!!well i only hate him when he doesnt reply me wad i asked..like abt tat rachel frm my sch..its his best frd's stead..but dunno wats his prob manx..wats there to be so secretive bout..hasnt he heard of somethin called trust..hey.. i realised something.. when i hv a prob..n i tell it to chris n eugene.. chris would be e kind tat goes.."juz numb yourself..dun care them.."..while eugene will be e kind tat goes.."pet dun cry..i'd cry too"..in tis sense i thk eugene is really somethin..e fact tat he feels for me..feels wad im feelin..instead of juz pushin e real prob aside makes me real touched...n eugene always remind me to trust god...i like tat.. i mean his so understandin..i so grateful to noe him...maybe god gave him to me as a frd so tat i can share my problems with..his so much a part of me....im not two timin chris or somethin..its juz tat there are somethings i feel is really disappointin bout chris..im not abt to let him noe though...heon noes..but i thk tats abt all..ive told some others bout him too..but its those surface stuff..nothin much..i'd truly prefer if he'll be more e leader between us..things are juz so complicated...i..i..dun thk i noe wad to do..eugene... his so fun..so happygolucky n witty too.. while chris is so serious..so like heon..haha...

2004-02-26T03:15:00.000-08:00

next yr its gonna b my turn.. wad wil i b doin now in 1 yr's time....i wonder..hmmm....well e o results wil be comin out tmr... for last yr's candidates.. how fast time flies... i dun even noe wad i wanna do with my life...haha.. i rmb e last time i felt i'd rather die den takin e injection..bcg..in pri 6..haha..im serious..i was tat crazy..n last yr..cos i liked alota ple in sec 4..fiona, esther they all..i felt it was kinda hard to live without them..its lyk they hv been here like for so long..since i entered tis sch..haha..anyway..... oh ya today ms siti was darn farni.. i nv knew make up contains such bad gross stuff.. e pink cheek thingy..rouge..contains iron3 oxide..tats rust!! ah!! n lip gloss contains kerosene..haha!! n she was like put a matchstick to yr lips wif lip gloss n it'll go "poof"(on fire)..hot lips baby..haha..shes farni sia..but damn fierce too.. she scolded me real harshly some time ago.. i didnt hand in my work on time..n she asked for my last yr marks..i told her D7..cos i wasnt sure..i thot she'd already knew..so it was actually C6..but ii was afraid i might b wrong..well.. she shouted at me.. "WHAT ARE U DOING HERE!!"..meanin its a pure chem class n i jolly well shld b in combined sci.. argh...i wasnt exactly angry.. i was so simply heartbroken.. i was hurt..but i dint cry..i jus dint.. shes right.. i noe it..well..anyway tats e past.. i'd put t aside now..n work damn hard...i really want to do my best.. im not askin for a 5 distinctions or somethin.. i juz want to posses e knowledge durin nx yr's O's results tat ive done all i could..wadeva marks i get..i'd be satisfied..n thank god for it.....

2004-02-25T18:45:00.000-08:00

e most important ple in my life..god, debbie fang, heon, mummy!! haha... oh well.. today..i was doin my lit essay hw durin chinese..n tat hua hu die caught me.. she walked towards me..so darn scary manx.. haha..n i was lyk lao shi bu yao!! ah!! haha.. well.. i knew she was comin to confiscate it.. so i quickly put it all on my bag on e floor.. so when she told me to hand it out..i gave her another piece..not my essay..heh heh.. intelligence personified..

2004-02-14T19:05:00.000-08:00

*mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind.*
*that instant i was turned into a hart,
and my desires,like fell and cruel hounds,
e'er since pursue me.*

he turned up again..yesterday..in uniform.. he look so smart..so handsome..so hard to resist...how i wish i could swallow those love poison..to make him like me..maybe he does already..juz to make sure i guess.. andrew!!pleeesz dun ever leave me..well..i saw him on e phone..wad seems lyk a gal..its pretty potentially obvious..if its a mom or juz a norm guy frd..dere is a certain kinda tone..a look..tat'll say so.. oh no!! n he left class early....ah!!..im so heartbroken..only hope can save me..

2004-02-12T18:03:00.000-08:00

debbie fang.. in aus now..but shes still embedded in my heart..i love her lots..as a frd..i still rmb clearly e very fiirst day i saw her..in sec one..she stepped into class..a skinny gal..carryin a grey rip curl bag..short hair..with glasses..a lil' strange..shes in our sch on probation.. e next time before i knew it..she was arranged to sit behind me..hahah!n i turned around to intro myself..got her to write her add.tel n stuff in my diary..

yep..den came e stupid performance on stage..e ballet one..i had to do..wif two others..tats how her older sis n frds gotta noe me..all of them said i was cute except tat huiyu..hellz i rmb her forever cos she said i danced lyk a chicken..can u believe it!! how hurt i was!! it was my first performance in tat totally new environment....ive nv heard anythin meaner..oh well..deb's sis (sarah fang) frds..fiona,esther,..well they started wavin to me n stuff..always callin my name..kept choosin e canteen table closest to me..kept sayin im cute..haha..ok..back to debbie..she,another gal(sarah yan-sittin in fnt of me), n i went for recess together..n deb said so loudly across e canteen to me..bout me dancin lyk a chicken.. yeah..she almost made me cry manx..tat time..i so hated deb...haha..it finally was alryte in e end..well..

another time.. i failed a math test by 1 mark!! n i got e workin already..but e teacher was bias or wateva.. so deb n sarah yan helped me..they tried askin e teacher for marks..but tat stupid teacher refused n even threatened to slap them.. hell! tat deb n sarah plus e whole clique planned to pour water on e teacher's chair..to make her look like she peed in her pants..haha..but it all ended up real bad..when she found out..everyone got in trouble with e principal..i hate tat teacher manx!! i couldnt stand it..i went right up to e teacher's desk..im fnt of e whole class.. n told her tat she wasnt supposed to threaten to slap students..n she had tat bo chap attitude..she ever said to e class.."fail nvm la..i oso failed alota times"..argh!! well i said in her face..if u failed so many times..how can u even be qualified to teach us??.. oh well...i told my mom bout tat teacher threatenin to slap ple..all tat..n my mom called up my form teacher to tell her tat..n i thk my form teacher told e principal...n tat stupid teacher was made to apologise to debbie... haha!!!

anywaez.. well there were lotsa quarrells between deb n me...but its all small gurlie fights..nothin much..oh i got deb into trouble..im so so so soorry... well..its..k.. there was somethin written on e whiteboard..tat we're supposed to brin a passport sized photo.. write yr name,tel on it..etc.. well deb forgot to copy it down..so she asked me wad was there..n i was up to mischief again..it was durin math class la..yeah i offered to help her write down.. haha.. n i wrote on it.."write yr name, yr boyfriend's name, aaron carter's add, etc etc..all these crap..(i liked aaron carter larx) yeah n i passed it back to her..she has a naturally loud voice la.. n she said"petrina!! wat the hell!"haha... n tat sch diary tat i wrote it on was passed around..n everyone was laughin.. well..e teacher noticed some noise.. n she confiscated e diary..n read it out to e class..after tat she asked to see deb's parents.. i felt so horrible.. it was I!!n I alone!! who caused it... not deb.. so after sch.. deb started cryin...i was so guilty.. i ran to e staff rm..n called tat math teacher out..after which i cried to her..tellin her not to see deb's parents..cos it was my fault...yeah she juz said if im naughty again..she'll see my parents too..tats all..hai...

oh at e fun fair.. still in sec one.. deb n me went around sellin jelly..carryin a basket..haha!! n e basket was so heavy tat i fell into e drain...haha!...remisce..all e happy memories.. shes back in aus now.... but im very sure we'll stil grow up together...stil sharin our thoughts.. still bein e best of frds.. debbie fang!!i love u!!

2004-02-10T19:10:00.000-08:00

*why weren't we able..to see the sides that we missed*
christopher...sorry...i din mean to...i noe wateva excuses i give..wont help..
we're juz diff..not meant to be..i juz wish we can be good frds again..tats all..

2004-02-09T18:39:00.000-08:00

dancing.the lights,the music,the colours,the glamour.it has blinded me. a gush of overwhelm fills my blood when i hear e sound of applause.. it drowns me..with satisfaction..that ive achieved somethin..somethin that no one can explain nor understand..somethin called passion. passion to perform. my uttermost desire. my life.

2004-02-07T21:54:00.000-08:00

yesterday... there he was.. silently listenin to my conversation...silently lookin at me. i was 5m away frm him on his right..yet..his presence reached out to me..desire. i watched him peep at me thru e gap of e wall n another guy's neck. i quickly looked away. he kept strollin in n out too..i liked him..mutual attraction..fatal attraction..but yet i dare not love again..cos its pain..juz so pain..when they came..n i let them leave a mark on my heart..n they go..only to leave me shattered n dreadfully pinin....